Oh How I Love Zumba..don't even ask..

A Pearl Project

I did this in South Korea with my good friend Bobby.

What's in Bag.... Photo.. Someone was out of bag..

What's in Bag June 17, 2012

-two wallets (small one for vital cards only.. driver's licence, shopper's drug mart point card) large mom-wallet for endless receipts that have no real purpose
-sunglasses (never worth more than 20 bucks, since they get lost all the time)
-prescription glasses, hardly ever worn
-balloons, one small, one large, for bribing purposes mostly
-excruciatingly slow drying clear nail polish (why do I own this??)
-tickets to Hope family picnic..4 adults, 3 kids under 6
-date book, half full (hard to believe it's already half done)
-pink dyed fur key chain, one of many gifts from the most kind Israr Khan
-bible..same version. ESV..more dog-eared and missing a few words from Ephesians, but functional
-beer cap from a road trip (as a passenger)
-snail mail from a very special person
-empty gum package (is it ever with-gum?)
-a list of senior kindergarten words and some flashcards
-an i cloth cleaning wipe
-business cards (speech therapist, manicure professional, club dj)
-various small forms of bribery (after dinner mints, a feather, a miffy pen in watermelon, a McDonalds happy meal toy-Madagascar penguin, "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave"

Ed Sheeran - Small Bump [Official Video]

Glimpses of Ecstasy

Yesterday little Voonie and I took off last minute and went to the lake. Best decision I've made in a while. The sky was so incredibly blue. The water was still like glass, and it was so quiet there, except for the sound of the birds doing their calling to one another. Or to their creator?  Or to Voonie and I.
Sometimes the beauty I come across is almost too much for me to handle and it makes me cry. I understand why we only get glimpses of the potential of that kind of beauty. If I saw more than what I've seen, I think my heart would break because of the intensity and magnificence of it.
Can a heart burst over wonder? Can it break over beauty? I think mine could.
I am thankful for the moderation provided to me for my own good. Cause life and creation, are just too good for me to handle.

Mushrooms

What's in Bag

What's in Bag... 


Feb 1st, 2012
. date book (fairly important)
. phone charger (essential)
. wallet
.wet wipes
. Vancouver gloves
. leather gloves
.rubics cube, third one, this one metallic shiny (bunja bunja)
.2 scented Miffy pens (red and black..strawberry and blackberry)
.one tattered paper with phone numbers of anyone essential in Korea
.several random receipts (created just to clutter my life, I am sure)
. one tattered paper with Rubics algorithms written a second time
.earphones (absolutely essential)
.bus pass, bank card, id car, stuffed in a pocket
.mechanical pencil refils
.Bible (second one, tattered, with Hello Kitty sticker which upsets the Baptists)

Feb 23, 2012
.date book (most essential of all time, packed full with dates and things that have to be done)
.phone charger (essential)
.extra battery, USB memory, two sd cards (fun)
.wallet (almost empty)
.two new sets of glasses
.Vancouver gloves and leather gloves
.cargo mailing address labels, four..representing 80 possible kgs
.four passports (one old Canadian, one new Canadian, one Korean, another one Canadian)
.brand new four way nail buffer
.Burts Bees lip chap (essential, almost)
.Nasonex (also essential, almost)
.Korean bank book
.sunglasses (yes!)
.half a dozen email addresses written on scrap paper
.photo of Avaih with angel's wings
.house bills water and electricity..last ones I will pay on this particular adventure
. Bible (no, wait,shit, where is it? haven't seen it in days)

Next week..

.two plane tickets to Canada
.passports, Canadian ID, bank card, etc.
.Canadian phone, charged and ready
.gum
.meds, toothbrush, eye makeup remover, kleenex, children's gravol
.Seoul starbucks coffee canteen, empty..
. rubics cube (essential)
.Vancouver gloves, leather gloves
.Bible (most essential of all time)
. date book (empty from today)

Rejection on our Bus

It's yours and mine, the bus.
I ride, you drive.
I say hello and you wonder why.

I have been trying to make you smile for almost a year.
All the others were a cinch compared to angry you.
It didn't help matters when my kid threw up on your bus.

Today you cast a small reply to my hello and I was shocked.
I should have treasured that for a while.
But my greed took over and I wanted more.

Approaching you I knew you'd probably deny my gift.
But anticipating the worst doesn't ease the shock when it actually happens.
I begged you to take it, in extended arm, broken language, pleading eyes.

It was a moment of disaster.

But now I know you couldn't take it.
After all ,how could you continue being mean to me every day,
 after you accepted my kindness, even small.

You need more time to step out of self hate and let yourself be loved.
You need more time to learn that when people offer you something
that they don't always want something in return.

But I guess I did. I wanted you to smile.

Perception on a Party Bus

Today, I was in my regular seat on the bus. The mudane one I ride in every day.

But, for a change, I pretended the bus belonged to me and the bus driver was my paid driver. I pretended we were going all around picking up all the people who were my friends. I imagined we were going to a party together or the beach or somewhere fun. I was so happy. What a great idea, what a great day it would be.

Then I saw the nearly beaten-to-death guy lying on the concrete as we approached Bupyeong station. He was strew out like a broken doll, limbs in all the wrong directions, blood all over him and his face and head. He had a circle of onlookers, but no one was helping him. I wondered which one of my friends did that to him and I hoped that friend didn't get on my party bus when the door opened at the stop.

We headed on towards the beach, but it wasn't the same after that.

Outcomes vs Intentions..Action vs Thought

Most of the time it doesn't matter what your intentions were.
It matters what the outcome of your actions are.

 So, when you really love someone, you should choose your actions based on the effects (or possible effects) of the outcomes to that person, rather than staying within the isolation of your intentions. Intentions can be a selfish and unreliable place for you to remain. They don't go beyond yourself, and they reach as far as you may hope.

"But I didn't mean for that to happen, I only meant for this..."

Does your intention change the outcome and the effect it has on your beloved? It's not fair to ask someone to take the outcome and exchange it for the intention. It's simply not possible. Actions and their consequences can be felt, but not intentions. They can only be perceived. And regret doesn't act as a life preserver. Once you have sunk someone, you have sunk them. Regret can't make then float again, or take away their hurt.
Asking to be understood, to be forgiven, are selfish and thoughtless moves. Don't require these in the first place.

The best way is to intend to choose or predict only the right outcomes thoughtfully and carefully. Intend on actions being real, not thoughts. Intend on actions having real consequences.

As for those you don't love, it's a totally different story, intend away, it doesn't matter much.

Shocking Kindness..a Light in a Dark World

Just when the world seems the darkest place with no hope for renewal or of becoming a safe or peaceful or easy place...someone blows me away with their absolute kindness, which they seem to give without any conditions or expectations. Even though it's happened many times to me, it always takes me by surprise. It reminds me that life is actually good; it affects me profoundly. Big acts of kindness (true unwarranted agape..selfless love) are more powerful than we might realize and they have lasting affects we can't always see.

I wanna be a blower-awayer. 

Shaping in Centers..Lithos and Perichoresis Welcoming 2012

A collection of thoughts remembered or borrowed and accreditation to the many lessons I have learned from John Lynch, Stever Mc Vey, Mike Zenker, and others (but written independently to represent only me)




We are being shaped, like Lithos, living stones, to be part of something we can't quite see yet, with a strong foundation, and a collective willingness to be shaped continually until we are all locked together, air tight. We are one strong and moving body. We, handpicked, hand crafted, created perfectly according to plan, are meant to be shaped in the open, in front of the ones we walk alongside. Yes, it sounds ambitious and even scary, but we are sons and daughter's of the God of the universe. Would you expect any less?



In our communities, we are most vulnerable, most visible, and most able to be formed to fit interlocking with all the others. We are shaped by not running when we want to run, by loving when we don't feel any love, by valuing each and every relationship, no matter how insignificant it may seem. We find our form best when we learn to trust in our own worth, our own value, that we are necessary and we are loved, as is our neighbour, our friend, our enemy. We need to know who we are. We need to know how deeply we are loved.



One of my favorite people, John Lynch (Truefaced, Bo's Cafe), taught that our character is formed in relationship and tested in isolation. Since learning that my lense has changed. Every relationship matters. It is a shaping opportunity. Relationships are our petrie dishes. Miracles' birthing places.



The first thing that ever existed (or always existed) was a relationship. All stems from that. Everything that happens to us is directly related to one central relationship, whether we know it or we don't. If this relationship is our center, we are at the center of the universe, the center of all love and abundance, the center of anything that matters. This is a relationship that cannot be taken from us. It is Perichoresis..the magical mystery of our Father's dance with the Son, the Holy Spirit, and us in the center of that union (Steve Mc Vey of Gracewalk, would explain it much better than I). Other things will be taken, or will be lost, and it will be painful, and it will shape us more. But our center will always be..us, and around us, a protecting and loving relationship.



It is interesting to reflect on whether humans can recreate the structure of this circle of love, this perichoresis, in our communities. Can we imagine the ones we love nestled into the center of our own relationships with others? Or the ones who have wronged us, the ones who don't know God or don't believe the same as us? Can we put them at the center? Can we be vulnerable even in front of them, be shaped as we hold them in a loving center among our rocks and body parts?



Ephesians 4: 16.."from the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipt, when each part is working properly, make the whole body grow, so that it builds itself up in love"



In our communities this year, let's be truthful, let's be non judgemental, let's walk in each other's shoes, pouring mercy at each other's feet as if we are watering our garden..Let's not be afraid anymore, for God's perfect love will always cast out our fear. Let's be courageous, let's be real, let's be shaped and let's stick together strong and firm, embracing the lovers and the haters, the lost and the found, and all that's in between..holding them in our centers of our relationships, and knowing we are hard wired to be this center and to create it for our Father's beloved.